When I was really struggling with Austin and wondering why it seemed so much harder than last time (apart from the obvious things like me being older, Austin not being Evelina etc.), I realised that what was making it hard was not being in a routine. I was feeding him every two hours, on demand like I had been told. It took me months to remember that routine makes life so much easier (for me at least – not for everyone).
So we grabbed the Baby Whisperer book and got him into a routine. He grew. We changed to Supernanny. He got into in his routine and it meant better naps, more sleep at night, better feeding and a much saner mama.
Being ill last year threw him out of this but generally speaking, I know where I am with him during the day. So why do I still feel slightly out of control? And why do I feel slightly aimless? I realise that whilst Austin is very much in a routine, I am not. I have never been able to live to a schedule. I don’t do chores at the same time each week. The shopping gets done when we need food. Going back to work will force a certain amount of routine but on my days off, I have less purpose, apart from the kids and their needs.
To try to achieve the much-needed but elusive balance of my previous post, I am going to try to start scheduling in things I want to get done – both fun things like Project Life, writing, crafting as well as the mandatory tasks like household chores and teaching prep – to see if I can train myself to live more intentionally. And this is the crux of it. At the moment, I feel I am reacting to life and I would love *LOVE* to someday feel like I am living it on purpose!