Journal, Mama

A Ta-Dah! List

I don’t remember where I first heard this idea, and a quick Google search reveals that it is nothing new, but this is something I have decided to start after another day off where I spent the day feeling restless and annoyed that I hadn’t Got Things Done. The idea of a Ta-Dah! List is that instead of (or as well as) starting the day with a to-do list, you write a list at the end of the day of all the things you have done – ta-dah! It is all too easy for me (and maybe for you too?) to feel guilty about the things I don’t achieve – it is helpful to reflect on what I do achieve instead.

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Crafty Things, Mama

A Quilt Made with Love

On Evelina’s first birthday, I proudly presented her with the quilt that I had lovingly made for over a year (so started when she was not even yet born). I had chosen gorgeous Tilda fabrics and roughly followed a pattern. My inexperience did not matter because the end result was lovely and special. When I had Austin, I wanted to do the same for him. And I did. It just took a little longer.

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Mama

Extra Time

The days are either crawling by at an unprecedented snail’s pace or flying by in a forgettable blur. I can’t actually believe it is Saturday already and yet last weekend seems like an age ago. It’s tempting to obsess about time, how I ought to be spending it to be more productive. I am trying my best to resist that urge. I keep thinking about all the things I haven’t done (of course, it is too easy to forget all that I do manage to achieve) but I have to remind myself that the main reason for this is because this is not a holiday. I am still working as well as looking after my family and home. Occasionally, I find myself feeling slightly wistful for those who are languishing in quiet homes with no-one making constant demands on them and their time.

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Journal, Mama

Soaking up the Sun

Today the weather was so glorious. I know there are many that don’t have access to a garden and whilst ours may not be large, it is certainly enough for us to be able to splash in the paddling pool (I am using ‘we’ here rather loosely since I did no intentional splashing) and eat our barbecued dinner on a our patio. We are so lucky.

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Mama

Two Years Five Months

It is not his birthday (that was five months ago almost) and it is not any other important date but I just had this powerful realisation that if I didn’t write today, right now, while I am thinking of it, I might never write this poor lad a blog post telling you all how amazing and special and exhausting and hilarious this child is. And that would just not do, would it?!

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Mama

My Mother’s Day

Woken at 8am – oh no it’s 9am (thanks daylight savings) with cuppa, cards (three from Lina and one from Austin) and a fab present (a cinema light box which I am super stoked about).

Rush to get ready for church – Evelina’s first Rainbows service.Church – nice hymns and people. Evelina told the congregation that’s what she loves about me is when I say don’t get food on your top over and over and then immediately do that myself. She didn’t say it very clearly so I think most people didn’t catch it but I knew what she said because we were laughing about it the other day. File under: Watch What You Say to Evelina Because She May Repeat it Back in Church Someday. The Rainbows’ pictures of their mums were up on the wall – I spotted me straight away (because of the blue hair similar to one of my cards from this morning!). Evelina brought me over a bunch of daffodils.

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Mama

Austin’s First Year

Let me start with an apology: Mum and Dad, I am sorry that I chided you numerous times for not having as many photos of me as a baby as you did of my (older) brother. I know you had your reasons but I also know this (hopefully pretty universal) truth: the second child does NOT get the same photos (or in my case, photos, blog posts, quilts) as the first born. Evelina has monthly letters I lovingly wrote with photos and anecdotes aplenty. She has photos books for the first three years. I wrote weekly about my pregnancy with her. In short, I have a lot of explaining to do when Austin gets old enough to appreciate the inequality of it all. My saving grace is that I have been using Instagram and Twitter to help document his milestones as much as I can.

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Journal, Mama

Balance

Every January for the past three years, I have chosen a word to focus on. Last year was Nurture – I did a lot of that but I also didn’t really focus on it like I’d hoped. The joy of motherhood sometimes means that life seems to be passing by, like you’re on a train and watching it pass out the window. You see it but you don’t feel a part of it. It’s a strange feeling. 
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Journal, Mama

Losing my Nerve

Ever since having Austin, I have the disconcerting feeling that I have lost my nerve. From inconsequential things like not being able to go down a high slide at Bewilderwood to more significant anxieties around returning to work, dealing with a lot of noise and sometimes even being in crowded places. ¬†Generally, I am much less able to handle stress.¬†As someone who usually relishes hustle and bustle, it’s a strange place to be.

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Journal, Mama, Simple Life

Currently

For someone who is usually only too happy to share her thoughts and feelings, it always catches me off-guard when I realise I have been bottling things up. I can always tell when I am feeling stressed because it shows in my face. Not in my expression. In my actual face. For a few days now, I’ve been plagued with itchy eyes (rampant hay fever I think) which has made the skin around my eye red and inflamed. I have eczema around my mouth and a nasty cold sore has just cleared up (I managed to ward off two other cold sore attempts with Zovirax).

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