Journal

Meandering

There was a fire somewhere last night. The smell of smoke was thick in the air and when I opened the windows to check the fire was outside and not burning away somewhere else in the house, the street was clouded. The acrid taste made me feel queasy and I searched online to find out what was burning. For some reason, I wanted to know and was frustrated to not find anything. In a world where a news story from across the globe can reach you in a matter of minutes, it is still a reminder that there are some things we can’t instantly know just by searching.

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Words

Writing Happy

Today is Day 10 of #The100DayProject and I am so enjoying the chance to write happy every day. Today, I am going to bed tired and feeling a bit down for a number of (trifling) reasons so I struggled to think of something to write that made me happy.

Then I remembered I hadn’t updated my Dear Kiddos blog for a while. This is a side project that I haven’t really advertised that is partly a life manual for the kids and partly therapy for me. When I am grappling with something it is really useful to turn the quandary into a life lesson. I don’t know if the kiddos will ever read these words but they help me so I guess that makes it worthwhile.

Here is tonight’s instalment: Taking Back Control

 

Journal, Words

100 Days of Writing Happy

Today is the first day of #The100DayProject which is run by Elle Luna and Lindsay Jean Thomson. Last year, I took on too much at a time when Austin was still pretty young. I am not sure I have any less on my plate now, being back to work and balancing all that, but I do want to a) focus on positive things that make me happy b) write something every day so I have decided to have another go.

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Simple Life

Happy

happy

I don’t generally think of myself as an unhappy person. I have a wonderful family, a great (if demanding) job and a lot of superb friends. Yet I was still intrigued by the #100HappyDays challenge that I had heard of – a colleague was doing it in order to focus on the positive things about our job as she was feeling somewhat disillusioned beneath the weight of the administrative duties of her new middle-manager role. The #100HappyDays website answered the question ‘why would I try’ by saying that people who have successfully completed the challenge claim to:

– Start noticing what makes them happy every day;
– Be in a better mood every day;
– Start receiving more compliments from other people;
– Realize how lucky they are to have the life they have;
– Become more optimistic;
– Fall in love during the challenge.

I am far too new at this teaching lark to be disillusioned but I already know the constant feeling of not being quite good enough, not being quite on top of things and the constant fear of letting the kids down. At the beginning of the year, I chose ‘positive’ to be my word for 2014 and right now, deep into the Spring Term with the clock ticking on my underachieving year 11s, I am struggling to keep that word at the forefront of my mind. Whilst my fundamental happiness may be intact, my day-to-day mood is less ‘happy’ or ‘positive’ and more ‘panicked’ and ‘exhausted’.

Enter #100HappyDays. I am doing this challenge to remind myself what a special career I have. I am doing it so I don’t lose sight of my priorities. I am doing it so that I can allow myself to focus, if only for a few moments a day, on myself instead of all the other people (big and small) in my life who I want to care for. My first two entries have involved TV and bacon which I would say is fairly representative of what makes me feel good. I wonder what the next 98 days will involve. I will be posting mainly on Instagram if you want to follow.