Journal

20 in 2020 update

With just a few days to go left of this year, I thought it might be amusing to look at what lovely things I imagined I would get up to this year in my 20 in 2020 list. My first impression of this list is that I actually did more of the things than I expected and the things I haven’t done are not really because of COVID.

Here is my list for 2020:

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Journal

My List of 20 in 2020

My list of 19 things for 2019 was a total success. I allowed it to be a success by changing up some of the items on the list. I didn’t see the point of ignoring all the things that I had managed to achieve just so that I could stick doggedly to (and fail at) a list of my own making.

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Journal

Goodbye Worth, Hello ..?

As I write this, I am feeling a strange kind of gratitude to my word of 2019. Worth is a weighty word. One that scared me a little when I chose it because unlike my word of 2018, I knew it was the right one straight away. I did not journal or scrapbook this year or complete any of the monthly prompts from the course but despite this, I actually feel like this word has served me more than any I have chosen before; I have had this word at the forefront of my mind at different key moments throughout the year, helping me with significant decisions. Contemplating one’s worth is a vulnerable act so it is not something I have really talked about or written about. But it’s been on my mind a lot.

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Mama

Two Years Five Months

It is not his birthday (that was five months ago almost) and it is not any other important date but I just had this powerful realisation that if I didn’t write today, right now, while I am thinking of it, I might never write this poor lad a blog post telling you all how amazing and special and exhausting and hilarious this child is. And that would just not do, would it?!

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Journal

18 for 2018

This year I have been enjoying the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast as well as Happier in Hollywood. Gretchen and Liz (her TV writer sister) are creating 18 for 2018 lists and since I have been missing my birthday lists, I thought I’d jump on board. I have made most of them finite things I can do throughout the year with just a few that are year-long goals.

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Journal

Meandering

There was a fire somewhere last night. The smell of smoke was thick in the air and when I opened the windows to check the fire was outside and not burning away somewhere else in the house, the street was clouded. The acrid taste made me feel queasy and I searched online to find out what was burning. For some reason, I wanted to know and was frustrated to not find anything. In a world where a news story from across the globe can reach you in a matter of minutes, it is still a reminder that there are some things we can’t instantly know just by searching.

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Words

Writing Happy

Today is Day 10 of #The100DayProject and I am so enjoying the chance to write happy every day. Today, I am going to bed tired and feeling a bit down for a number of (trifling) reasons so I struggled to think of something to write that made me happy.

Then I remembered I hadn’t updated my Dear Kiddos blog for a while. This is a side project that I haven’t really advertised that is partly a life manual for the kids and partly therapy for me. When I am grappling with something it is really useful to turn the quandary into a life lesson. I don’t know if the kiddos will ever read these words but they help me so I guess that makes it worthwhile.

Here is tonight’s instalment: Taking Back Control

 

Journal, Simple Life

Living on Purpose

When I was really struggling with Austin and wondering why it seemed so much harder than last time (apart from the obvious things like me being older, Austin not being Evelina etc.), I realised that what was making it hard was not being in a routine. I was feeding him every two hours, on demand like I had been told. It took me months to remember that routine makes life so much easier (for me at least – not for everyone).

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Journal, Mama

Balance

Every January for the past three years, I have chosen a word to focus on. Last year was Nurture – I did a lot of that but I also didn’t really focus on it like I’d hoped. The joy of motherhood sometimes means that life seems to be passing by, like you’re on a train and watching it pass out the window. You see it but you don’t feel a part of it. It’s a strange feeling. 
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