Mama

Extra Time

The days are either crawling by at an unprecedented snail’s pace or flying by in a forgettable blur. I can’t actually believe it is Saturday already and yet last weekend seems like an age ago. It’s tempting to obsess about time, how I ought to be spending it to be more productive. I am trying my best to resist that urge. I keep thinking about all the things I haven’t done (of course, it is too easy to forget all that I do manage to achieve) but I have to remind myself that the main reason for this is because this is not a holiday. I am still working as well as looking after my family and home. Occasionally, I find myself feeling slightly wistful for those who are languishing in quiet homes with no-one making constant demands on them and their time.

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Journal

My List of 20 in 2020

My list of 19 things for 2019 was a total success. I allowed it to be a success by changing up some of the items on the list. I didn’t see the point of ignoring all the things that I had managed to achieve just so that I could stick doggedly to (and fail at) a list of my own making.

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Journal

Finishing up my 19 for 2019

I did two things I haven’t done before with regard to my yearly list of goals: a) I changed some of the goals mid-year to align with things that became more important to me as the year went one (in the past, I have doggedly stuck to my original list); and b) I completed my entire list.

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Journal, Mama

Losing my Nerve

Ever since having Austin, I have the disconcerting feeling that I have lost my nerve. From inconsequential things like not being able to go down a high slide at Bewilderwood to more significant anxieties around returning to work, dealing with a lot of noise and sometimes even being in crowded places. ¬†Generally, I am much less able to handle stress.¬†As someone who usually relishes hustle and bustle, it’s a strange place to be.

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Journal, Mama

An End and a Beginning

   

Today was my last day at work before starting my maternity leave. It was a teacher training day which was actually pretty useful with a particularly uplifting and interesting session with our behaviour consultant Victor Allen who is a complete legend. He has such a calming presence and he also reminds us that above all, it’s kindness that these kids need.  I also had a chance to hand over my classes to the supply teacher who will be taking my classes, at least to start with. I was of course elated to be finishing work for a year especially because it means my baby is coming and I really am very excited to meet him. 

But I also left with a strange sadness: I was leaving behind this place which was my place of belonging. I was giving up my classroom. I was leaving my friends. I was leaving a part of my identity which I didn’t even realise I valued like I apparently do. So this is an end (for now).

But it is also a beginning. The beginning of our next adventure as a family. I can’t wait.

Journal

Something Beginning with ‘C’

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Something beginning with C – my mama Cathy

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My mama, Cathy. By the way, I’m doing this as its NaBloPoMo.